Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
