he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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