You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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