I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
