try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
