I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
