Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
