okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
