4 words: hood of his car
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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