One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
