you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
