problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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