jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
