suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We have started to decorate penises.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
