have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
