I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
