ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
