i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
