My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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