big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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