it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
