We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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