:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
