The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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