sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
