dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
