I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
