I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
