Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
