so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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