What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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