Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
