This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
