everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
