Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
