Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
