I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
