We won't sleep together?
Say something about gay babies.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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