If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
