I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
they're like a gay fantastic four
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
