like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
