this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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