Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
how does that bad decision feel?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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