Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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