What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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