Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
