also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
