sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
