i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
