Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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